Motherhood is Not a Competition- So Stop it.

Motherhood is not a Competition

If I could only tell you one thing, just one, it would be to STOP comparing yourself to other moms! 

Seriously, Motherhood is not a competition, so why does it seem that instead of banding together, so many moms are engaged in a constant battle of who can create Pinterest inspired creations better than the other? Since when does sticking spaghetti through hot dogs more creatively, make you a better mother than some one else? It doesn’t. In fact, it’s the thought that counts, the effort that makes a difference and if it’s not a perfect looking hot dog spider or what have you, then the kids will have fun laughing at it anyways. Win Win. 

I am so sick of the whole “Motherhood Competition!” I really am. I would much rather everyone truly support each other than spend so much time trying to “Out Mother” one another. Seriously, it accomplishes nothing. 

There is nothing wrong with striving to be a better Mom, by your OWN definition! Nothing at all. You choose what defines you, if you feel that making the perfect Pinterest inspired crafts is what does it for you, then so be it… If you feel that creating a repertoire full of Pinterest Fails does it for you, then GOOD, because then you aren’t actually failing at all. 

Have you seen the Mom walking her Daughter with the elaborate braid she created from using a Youtube tutorial? It only took her 45 mins and half a bottle of hairspray, and your daughter’s hair has just decided to compile itself into a birds nest as soon as you walked out the door. 

If you are the mom with the child with the messy hair… good on you. Who cares?! Maybe you forgot. Maybe the morning was INSANE and you didn’t have time to fight with your child to do a fancy up do. Maybe you could care less about fancy hairstyles, and your daughter is right there with you as she hates getting her hair done. No matter what the reason, it’s not anyone’s business so don’t you DARE compare yourself to that woman who’s child looks like she just stepped out of a salon. That may be that woman’s definition of success, but it isn’t yours and that’s OK. 

If you are the mom with the youtube tutorial playing in the background as you create magic with your daughter’s hair… good on you. Maybe this was a one time thing, maybe you do this every single day, and your daughter thinks you’re the best for it. No matter what the reason, it’s not anyone’s business, so don’t you dare compare yourself to the woman whose child has a bird’s nest coming out the back of her head. That may be that woman’s definition of success, but it isn’t yours and that’s OK. 

Motherhood is NOT a competition, unless you are competing against yourself to meet YOUR definition of success. 

 Do you ever feel like Motherhood is a Competition?




  1. Angie Bailey on November 3, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    I’ve never let the “competition” get to me. My son who is almost 15 and I are alike in the fact that we don’t care what other people think of us 99.9% of the time. We do our own thing and he’s happy being my son and I’m happy being his mother and nothing else matters.

  2. Bonnie Way on November 3, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    I totally agree with you!!! Motherhood is not a competition. My mantra has always been, “You have to do what’s right for you and YOUR family and YOUR child and that will probably be different than what’s right for me and my family and my child… and that’s OKAY!” We’re all different, we’re all going to mother differently, but we can still love each other and support each other and get along!!! 🙂 Thanks for ranting. 🙂

  3. Isra on November 4, 2014 at 2:06 am

    Great advice, I agree, thanks for writing it!

  4. tonia walsh on November 7, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    You are so right that it is not a competition. Its good to remind people who think it is. That is to much stress for them.

  5. Diana on April 1, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    Well said! Mothers need to stop judging each other. Lets support each other instead comparing ourselves to see who did what better. Bravo to you for writing this post! (I am a mom of a 14 and 2 year old)

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