Rants
You Know You’re Pregnant When – 20 Hilarious Ways to Know You Are With Child
Pregnancy can be such an amazing time in your life. Feeling your little one move for the first time, hearing their heartbeat. The memories are all there for me, clear as day. While a positive pregnancy test is the first way to know you’re pregnant, there are also some funny identifiers that can clue you…
Read MoreBeing a Stay at Home Mom IS Work- and it’s NOT easy either
Do you think Being a Stay at Home Mom is Work? Many people seemingly don’t. In fact, there are several people out there that define motherhood as something entirely different. I have recently been told by a few people that I keep having kids so I don’t have to “work.” (Except, I DO have a…
Read MoreDear Santa – A Mom’s Christmas Wishlist for REAL
Dear Santa, This is a mom’s Christmas wishlist. I am sure you know my name by now. The elf on the shelf has probably had some interesting things to report. Yes, I said fuck yesterday and yes, my kids heard me, but I have been such a fucking good girl this year that small detail…
Read More10 Top Reasons Teachers SUCK – or do They?
You see, teachers suck. They really do. I mean, aren’t they terrible people? Who in their right mind would agree to spend all day with your unruly, snot nosed little sh– I mean angels? There MUST be something wrong with teachers. If your child has been sent to the office, it CAN’T be because your…
Read MoreSanctimommies, Momsplaining and Nonsensical Judgment
Let’s get a few things straight here. There are so many judgmental people out there in the world, and through my experience, Other Moms are the WORST for this. Being a Mom isn’t easy. In fact, it’s fucking hard. This shit is not for the weak, that I can tell you for certain. You know…
Read More10 Reasons My New Years Resolutions are BULLSHIT
OK. I said it. My new years resolutions are complete and utter BULLSHIT. I mean I make the same stupid new years resolutions every single cot damned year. Every single stupid mediocre, common resolution that you can think of… I have resolved to do it one year or the other. My Previous Garbage New Years Resolutions …
Read MoreSocial Parenting: Stop Caring About Other Parents On Social Media!
With social media at our fingertips and the ability for parents everywhere to spread the word about what their child is doing, how they are parenting and so on and so forth, it’s no wonder we all get caught up in what other parents are doing. Social media can quickly become a game of trading…
Read MoreThat Time The Internet Annoyed Me
This is a thing. The internet has annoyed me. I mean, I freaking love the internet, I love the people I have met, the people that read this crap I write, the people that can relate to my insanity and the people that can put up with it. I love the funny stories, the satirical…
Read MoreDoorbell Etiquette – Never Knock or Ring My Doorbell After 7pm
Do you know proper doorbell etiquette? I had solicitors at my door the other night. It was 8:30pm. The kids had finally drifted off to dream land and I was ready to relax and quietly watch some television. Instead, I decided that perhaps cleaning my toilet was more important than TV, so I was arm…
Read MoreKids With Cell Phones: Why My Children Won’t Have Cell Phones Until They Can Buy One Themselves
I was picking my 7 year old up from school they other day and I saw all these kids with cell phones. They were filing out of the school doors like completely distracted drones. Many of them had phones in their hands either listening to music, or texting, or sharing photos… Many were the same…
Read MoreFussy Eaters- Why I Won’t Allow my Kids to be Picky Eaters
I have been told that there is a difference between fussy eaters and picky eaters. Apparently, a fussy eater is someone that can like something one day and change their mind the next day. A picky eater is defined as someone that has a reluctance to try new foods, which can limit the foods that…
Read MoreThe Age of Entitlement- Parents Policing Parents about Gift Giving
Oh Parents policing Parents is a wonderful thing isn’t it? I have seen so many different posts on Facebook authored by Mothers who are angry, angry that other parents are getting their children large gifts. Angry that other parents are out there buying their children gifts for St. Patrick’s day. Angry that some parents are…
Read MoreThe Battle for the Sidewalk- Teach Your Children SINGLE FILE
I swear if one more adolescent pushes me off the sidewalk because they can’t go single file I’m going to scream. Every single morning, after I am finished walking my kids to school, I walk home. Alone. Every single morning, I have to fight through swarms of adolescents on their way to school. They don’t…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to The Amber Alert Complainers
On a Sunday night in 2016 around 9:30pm EST the OPP used the new and enhanced Amber Alert program for the first time. The alert sounded a loud, repetitive alarm that disrupted the sound on Television shows, to alert viewers about a missing boy through a large pop up on the screen. The police were trying…
Read MoreWhen Mom is Sick, No one Cares
Is it true that when Mom is sick no one cares? I am not sure 100% sure, but honestly, it sure as heck seems that way. My 4 year old daughter came down with a brutal cold on Monday of last week. She was coughing, sneezing and snotting all over everything in her path. In…
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