Things Moms Say- The Top 10 Things I Find Myself Saying

Things Moms Say

I find myself saying a lot of the same things over and over again. It’s almost like a rinse and repeat type deal. I have said before that I feel like a broken record, and that hasn’t changed. However, now I find myself repeating the same things over and over again… with the ODDEST things.

So without furthur ado here are my top 10.

1. That is NOT a Hat

Now, do not get me wrong, I am all for creative play and thinking, HOWEVER, sometimes it just goes too far. Like when my 2 year old decides that the dog bowl filled with water is a perfect hat just before we leave to go pick up her brother from school. I am also not a fan of her picking things like: The flower pot, a glass plate, her bowl full of spaghetti or my laundry basket full of clean, freshly folded laundry.

2. Get Your Fingers Out of Your Nose

This is something I say far too frequently. Seriously. Between both my children you’d think I owned a booger mine. Every time I turn around I find myself saying: “Get your fingers out of your nose!” or “Would you please just use a kleenex?” Similar: “Get your fingers out of your mouth, ears, toilet, cookie jar etc. “

3. Inside Voices!

This is usually said while screaming over top of them screaming over top of each other. This also occurs when every. single. word. out of my son and daughter is screamed at the top of their lungs. Take a normal sentence, now say it in a normal voice… now take your voice and scream that sentence as loud as you can… yeah… kind of like that… but about 10 times louder and 10 octaves higher.

4. Just Eat

Seriously, is Dinner Time a spartan battle over here? I don’t care that your sister is making a face at you, or that the dog sneezed, or that you farted. JUST EAT. No, I am not concerned that you may possibly be too full for dessert or that your brother is making noises. JUST EAT. PLEASE. JUST EAT.

5. That is Not a Toy

Would you stop playing with the toilet seat? The toilet paper? That is not a toy. Do you think that you could possibly refrain from pressing the button on the front of my computer a million times? That is not a toy. When we are at Grandma’s house, could you please just leave her picture frames alone? Those aren’t toys either. The dogs ears? Nope. Not toys. Those millions of dollars worth of hot wheels and nick nacks in the toy box collecting dust… yeah, those are toys.

6. Don’t Jump on That

The furniture, the dog, the table, my head, the bed…. DON’T JUMP ON THAT! Just don’t do it.

7. The Answer is No!

Why do I have to answer the same question 4 million times? I already said NO you can not currently have a cookie, play video games or buy that car. The answer is no. I don’t all of a sudden change my mind the 10th time I am asked. I am going to start learning different languages to say no in so that I can at least change it up for my benefit. The next time I am asked the same question more than twice, I am going to reply with “nicht” and then send you to bed!

8. Be Patient!

Relax! Seriously. Just because you asked me for a drink .5 seconds ago does NOT mean that I HAVE to get up right this second to fill your cup. You ARE NOT going to parish in the next few minuets. I promise. We are not in the desert. Can I just finish Pooping first?

9. Close The Door!

I am trying to go the bathroom in silence, change my clothes, or just take a deep breath. If the door is closed, leave it that way… unless you are on fire. More importantly, do not complain about having seen me naked if you just barge into my room when the door is closed… You made me look this way, but nobody forced you to open that door.

10. Do I look like ___________’s Mother?

But MOOOOM, So and So’s Mom lets him watch “The Walking Dead?” Well, do I look like his Mother? No, No I do not. Because I am not. I did not birth him, or his mother, so they can do whatever it is that they see fit. However, I did birth you. So, unfortunately for you all your choices are currently mine to make. Now, I would count myself lucky if I were you, because I think you have it pretty darned good.

Now these are just the top 10 things I find myself uttering on a pretty much daily basis. Now, of course I always tell them I love them and give them praise as well… so all you jerks over analyzing this can just close the door!

What do you find yourself repeating the most?


  1. Jennifer (momvstheboys) on January 16, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    haha all sooooo true! For us it’s usually get your hands out of your pants instead of your nose though! lol boys I tell ya!

  2. Shannon on January 16, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    Oh the one thing I say and I cringe when I say it is “Because I said so.” :S

  3. Nancy @ Whispered Inspirations on January 16, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    OMG, I get the so and so watches Walking Dead, why can’t I speech all the time. And I say, do I look like so and so’s mother? LOL, this is hilarious. LOVE this.

  4. Jenn on January 16, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    LMAO!! I totally say all those!! and often!!! Another one I used is “My name is not longer Mommy its bubbaganuch”

    • Ninja Mommers on January 16, 2014 at 7:17 pm

      Omgosh, I always change my name! My name is no longer mommy.. I am princess Consuelo banana boat

  5. Gingermommy on January 16, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    If I have to tell you one more time….. OR
    You just wait until your dad hears this! LOL

  6. paula schuck on January 16, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    Inside voice. Stop yelling. It’s time to eat. Please stop hitting your sister. Also if I need to say that one more time I am going to lose my mind. Think it through. Pay attention. Do you hear me? We are a family and families help each other. (That one is finally kicking in thank goodness.) So many things. Sometimes I hate hearing them come out of my my mouth.

  7. Jill on February 15, 2014 at 7:41 am

    Can definitely relate to these! Especially ‘that is not a toy’! Despite having all the toys he could want, my son is always trying to play with something he shouldn’t!

  8. Xenia Paterson on April 11, 2014 at 2:10 am

    “This is not a restaurant! Just eat it.”

    • Ninja Mommers on April 11, 2014 at 2:16 am

      Oh Boy you sound like me! LOL!

      I refuse to be a short order cook!

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