Parenting is NOT for sissies! It just isn’t. Anyone that parents can never be called a sissy plain and simple.
Parents experience some pretty disgusting crap with their kids… both figuratively and literally!
As a Mom I have seen, heard and dealt with some pretty gross stuff. I am sure there are other Parents out there that can relate. I refuse to be called a sissy.. ever. I also feel that non-parents need to be informed, as well as warned as to some of the gross stuff that can take place, especially in those first few years of parenthood.
You may see your friends on their social networks with their beautiful pictures of their children. Your heart may swell with happiness as you take in the beauty of their lives. Parenthood is FILLED full of heart swelling moments, and good clean fun… What is less spoken of, is the craziness that can go on behind closed doors.
You have been warned.
5 Gross Things Parents Experience
1. Diaper Explosions- I am not talking about the kind of explosions that just smell bad and make a bit of a mess. I am talking about complete and utter poo-mergencies that not only go all the way up the back, but also leak out the sides so that when you pick your child up… your hip is now COVERED in fecal matter. Not only are these messy and make you wish you had a power washer suitable for a child, but they also smell so bad that your freshly painted nursery needs to be repainted as the paint is now peeling off the walls.
2. Snotty Noses- I know, I know generic… but what about when they start wiping them on you, your couch, the dog?! Your entire house becomes a snot fest! You end up following them around constantly with a kleenex, yes this will stop once they learn that it’s not a good thing to do…. but while it’s happening. It’s gross. Bringing out the antibacterial wipes will have to do, but you start wishing you had a power washer… again.
3. Barf– For the first little while, your children have no idea that they should throw up in the toilet or a bucket. In fact, when they are throwing up, instead of lurching to the toilet, they will lurch toward comfort… Yep, that’s YOU. Cleaning barf out of your hair and your ear crevices can be pretty yucky. Again, where is that power washer?
4. Bugs- Picking up bugs seems to be the “coolest” thing to do. The creepy crawlier the better. Feeling something crawling around in your hair? Probably another one of your child’s “Pets”.
5. Exploration- While exploration is beneficial to learning, the part where they have to learn not to shove popcorn up their noses really isn’t all that fun. Especially when you have to pull a snot filled piece of popcorn out of your son’s nose, and one of those bugs your child keeps as a “pet” comes out too.