Parenting Is Not For Sissies- 5 Gross Things Parents Experience
Parenting is NOT for sissies! It just isn’t. Anyone that parents can never be called a sissy plain and simple.
Parents experience some pretty disgusting crap with their kids… both figuratively and literally!
As a Mom I have seen, heard and dealt with some pretty gross stuff. I am sure there are other Parents out there that can relate. I refuse to be called a sissy.. ever. I also feel that non-parents need to be informed, as well as warned as to some of the gross stuff that can take place, especially in those first few years of parenthood.
You may see your friends on their social networks with their beautiful pictures of their children. Your heart may swell with happiness as you take in the beauty of their lives. Parenthood is FILLED full of heart swelling moments, and good clean fun… What is less spoken of, is the craziness that can go on behind closed doors.
You have been warned.
5 Gross Things Parents Experience
1. Diaper Explosions- I am not talking about the kind of explosions that just smell bad and make a bit of a mess. I am talking about complete and utter poo-mergencies that not only go all the way up the back, but also leak out the sides so that when you pick your child up… your hip is now COVERED in fecal matter. Not only are these messy and make you wish you had a power washer suitable for a child, but they also smell so bad that your freshly painted nursery needs to be repainted as the paint is now peeling off the walls.
2. Snotty Noses- I know, I know generic… but what about when they start wiping them on you, your couch, the dog?! Your entire house becomes a snot fest! You end up following them around constantly with a kleenex, yes this will stop once they learn that it’s not a good thing to do…. but while it’s happening. It’s gross. Bringing out the antibacterial wipes will have to do, but you start wishing you had a power washer… again.
3. Barf– For the first little while, your children have no idea that they should throw up in the toilet or a bucket. In fact, when they are throwing up, instead of lurching to the toilet, they will lurch toward comfort… Yep, that’s YOU. Cleaning barf out of your hair and your ear crevices can be pretty yucky. Again, where is that power washer?
4. Bugs- Picking up bugs seems to be the “coolest” thing to do. The creepy crawlier the better. Feeling something crawling around in your hair? Probably another one of your child’s “Pets”.
5. Exploration- While exploration is beneficial to learning, the part where they have to learn not to shove popcorn up their noses really isn’t all that fun. Especially when you have to pull a snot filled piece of popcorn out of your son’s nose, and one of those bugs your child keeps as a “pet” comes out too.
This morning my son got into the freezer and I found him with roe (salmon eggs) that my husband placed in there for fishing. GAG!
Ugh -there are so many! I have a particularly sensitive stomach – my husband laughs at me for gagging at simple things. But, there was that one time I got puked on 5 times by my children in one night while on vacation. That was the WORST!
Ugh YES to all of these! We call #1 (or is that #2?) Poo-namis. Blech. At least I breastfeed my babies so the poop doesn’t actually smell bad. I think stinky poo smell combined with a Poonami would actually do me in.
Yup! Not only do I have to deal with my own kids but the 4 little ones in my home daycare as well. Hate snotty noses! LOL
Parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart! I totally recall many gross barf and diaper explosion moments when my kids were very small. Ick. One of my oldest daughter’s favourite stories is about the time she was maybe two and she was projectile vomiting all over after eating melon. Can’t recall if it was just the food or a tummy bug, or what. But what I remember was that I cleaned her up each time and changed my clothing each time and low and behold she would barf again and again and again and typically all over me because I was holding her. Finally (this is gross) after about 3 hours of this I gave in and sat there covered in barf clothing waiting for her to stop. She loves to hear that story. She’s so silly – now she’s almost a teen and she thinks it is hysterical that she once barfed on me sooooo much that I almost gave up and just sat there.
Been there done that, with kids and grandkids alike!