Moms With Tattoos and Piercings – Stop Judging Me I can still Parent
Hi There! I am Ninja Mommers! You may be a long time reader, or a new visitor, but no matter who you are…
THIS is my face…
I have a septum Piercing, a regular nose piercing, a vertical labret, both ears pierced and an industrial in my right ear. I also have a tattoo on the top of my back and have a full tattoo sleeve on my right arm.
YES, I am a MOM and I am STILL getting Tattoos & Piercings! I am scheduled for more.. GASP! In fact, I will let you in on a little secret… I didn’t have any piercings or Tattoos until a few months AFTER my son was born. That’s right ladies and gentleman, these tattoos & Piercings were not because I was being a “rebellious” Teenager! These Tattoos & Piercings are because… GASP… I love them, and wanted them, and felt confident enough in myself to finally express myself openly.
What I understand comes with expressing yourself, is judgement. Full on dirty looks, shocked faces and stares. Hey now, I am not a monster… Seriously… what’s a little bit of metal in my face? I am not carrying a freaking shotgun for goodness sakes! Sometimes, I might as well be though, as it seems people are “Terrified” of what they are not used to. I promise my Piercings and Tattoos are not diseases, they will not jump off my body and attack you, leaving you looking like me!
There are limited women that speak to me when I pick my son and daughter up from school, and I found the ones that do have significant others with Tattoos & Piercings. This does not bother me as much as it should. As far as I am concerned, if people can’t get over my appearance to get to know me, than I am kind of happy I am avoiding them in the first place.
My Tattoos and Piercings are like a big giant billboard that reads: “Do not talk to me if you are a judgmental jerk.”
Seriously though. The thing that gets me the most is when people seemingly think I can’t parent my children with all these holes in my head and ink on my body. I promise that my self expression in no way impedes my ability to love, clothe, feed and care for my little loves! In fact, I feel as though it teaches them a valuable lesson, that you should be happy being who you are and not afraid to express yourself.
I hate the fact that this is still even a problem in 2016! Seriously, WHO CARES?! I think we have bigger fish to fry around the world than someone who pierces their face when they have children.
One year we had sent out Birthday invitations for Little Man’s Birthday, only one of the kids from his class has RSVP’d yes… and only a few showed up. Do I think that has something to do with the way I look? Absolutely. Do I feel that’s fair to Little Man? No.
I have had people ask me how I feel that the way I look could affect my Children’s school life. My response is and always will be: “affect it in a good way!” I am always looked at like I have 6 heads when I say that, but the truth of the matter is, if someone’s parents are saying: “You can’t hang out with Little Man, his mom has holes in her face…” It might not be long before that child adopts the same perception and believes that appearances are everything. My swiss cheese face may have just saved him from a friend that would probably not be such a good one anyways if they can’t get passed the way someone looks.
Let’s all teach our children to be understanding shall we?
OH THE HUMANITY, THAT WOMAN HAS TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS AND….CHILDREN!!
Yes, Yes I do. While you sit there and stare, I will be over here loving my kids, perhaps you should just focus on doing the same with yours.
Do you think Tattoos and Piercings make someone a bad mom?
You’re beautiful lady 🙂
It’s really not anyone’s business what you do with your body, as long as you’re happy – that is all that matters. I only have my nose done, and I haven’t had anyone say anything about that but I know a few people who have been judged about eyebrows, lips, etc. Not sure why others are so concerned, it’s not their body 😉
Thanks Randa! I appreciate that. Your thoughts are the same as mine! Really not anyone business what I do with my body! However, I promise that it does not make me a jailbird, or a hooligan or a bad person. In fact, I have never even been to jail, no do I have a record of any kind. My kids are also well taken care of. Funny I can see past my piercings to do all this… guess they do not blind people after all.
Tattoos and piercings absolutely are not a reflection of poor parenting skills and anyone who actually thinks that is the case is obviously stuck int he Victorian Era in a bad way.
That’s also my thought process! Good Grief.
I don’t have any tattoos (there’s nothing on have seen that I want on my body when I’m 60 got instance), only my ears pierced. I had a labret piercing until I had my 3 yr old at which time I had to remove for the csection & then it closed up in the hospital. I would let my children play with a child whose parents have either provided I was comfortable with them just as children of parents that don’t have them. HOWEVER, I’ll admit that I’m a little weirded out about parents with tats, excessive piercing and different choices in overall hair colour. The package, in my opinion, is a little tacky with or without children once u hit a certain age… Feels like a desperate cry for attention. But overall, just cuz I don’t have tats & piercing doesn’t mean no one else should
See, that is what I mean by judgment. I have no desire to “desperately” cry for attention. I just like the way it looks. For me, I am not going to look all that great when I am old anyways, things will start to sag and I will look old. Might as well enjoy expressing myself now! It won’t matter if I am a little more colourful when I am 60. 🙂
But yes, I agree that just because you don’t choose that lifestyle, doesn’t mean that no one else should either and I am glad it would not stop you from letting your child hang out with mine!
To be honest, I have A tattoo. I have wanted to add a new tattoo each birthday, but never got around to it. At first, people were a bit judgement (yes, even with my ONE tattoo). I don’t even really notice piercings or tattoos since many of my friends are tattooed and pierced. It’s a beautiful expression of who a person is and their creativity as well. Whatevs, people. 😉 P.S. You’re stunning, my friend! xo
Gosh Thanks Christine. Made me blush… and you are one of the few that would see that passed my piercings apparently LOL! Thanks for stopping by!
I’ll admit, some piercings freak me out – I have a bit of a phobia with certain locations/types of piercings, but I also understand that is entirely on me, and I don’t mock/dislike/freak-out at people who have those piercings. I certainly wouldn’t ever stop myself from interacting with any person with them, ’cause I’m wearing my big-girl panties. I don’t have children, but it wouldn’t even cross my mind to limit any play date due to what the child’s parent chooses to wear. :/ Sorry you’re going through such a rough experience right now.
Thanks Aeryn Lynee! It isn’t easy for sure. Yes, I would compromise my appearance for my children but then what lesson does THAT teach them?! We will get passed this, but it’s entirely upsetting.
I think it’s weird that this is still an issue. It’s 2014, for real. I’m so sorry that this is affecting your little guy. Your piercings/ink are not what’s impacting him, it’s the prejudice of people making unwarranted assumptions about you. Do I like how everybody chooses to dress or do their hair/makeup? Do I think that hat or her lipstick are attractive? Maybe not. But it’s a question of personal choice and taste, not a reflection of anyone’s character or ability to parent.
I was just attacked on my blog for my own appearance – and all I had visible were a couple of eyebrow rings. I think it’s sad that some people are so uptight about something so silly. They’re really missing out, and I can tell you first hand there are a lot of us pierced/inked mamas out there (183 comments on my FB page and counting). I’m working on a post about this too. Stay beautiful!
Hi Olivia! Thanks for commenting! Please make sure you share your post with me as soon as you have it up! Perhaps raising awareness is in order! I will share your stuff on my facebook page as well. I have your back! You stay beautiful as well my love! 🙂
When I started to read your post I have to admit when I first read this post it really puzzled me. I am pretty bad at even paying any attention to the parents of the children my son plays with. This is really horrible that people can be this petty and narrow minded! It is just another sad example of parents judging other parents. I had someone ask me the other day if I was worried my son may be bullied because I will likely be older than other parents. Ummm… No! People spend way too much time worrying about others! Hopefully the summer will bring some clarity to your sons friends parents! And a better year next year!
You’re beautiful just the way you are, it’s your body you can do what you want! I don’t have any piercings other than my ears although I did have my navel done but I took it out during my first pregnancy and haven’t bothered with it. But like it’s my choice not to have any it’s your choice to have as many as you like! :))
Having tattoos or piercings is your own business. I have one of each and really never thought about being judged because I did it for me. We can be judged for anything, shouldn’t stop anyone from being themselves 🙂
I don’t have much to say other than I agree with you 100%, I love tattoos and piercings and I don’t care who is wearing them, they do not change how you parent your child. Some people are just snobs and they are not happy unless they are taking it out on someone, but to get the children involved is lame, I feel bad and upset your son only has one rsvp, now that is sad and terrible on the other parent, it’s the grown adults that need to grow up!!!!
Hey to each their own. I wouldn’t worry about the haters, they’ll learn someday that appearances are superficial. Just keep being you.
Man looks at the outside but the Lord looks at the heart – from the Bible
Good for you putting it out there. 🙂 I’m a mom of 2 and I have 7 tattoos. Before kids, I only had 1 tattoo. I used to have 10 piercings, too, but over the years I grew tired of them and ended up taking them all out. I just have my ears pierced now. I’m still loving tattoos and want a lot more. I hate when people judge…my self-expression doesn’t negatively impact my parenting. Other than meaning I am a lot more open-minded about things I think. Always be YOU – no matter what others say. 😀
Hey, it’s your body and you shouldn’t worry about the haters. I hate parents who judge other parents.
I know very heavily tattooed and pierced moms and then unpeirced and untattooed moms and guess what, as long as you love your kids and take care of them, I don’t care what or where you have tattoos and piercings!
Its so bad that people feel they have the right to judge with no real info
“they will not jump off my body and attack you”- That’s hilarious! People need to get over themselves. I love tattoos and have 4 myself. Yes, I’ve chosen to put them in spots that I can cover with clothing but obviously since I have one on my ankle and another on the back of my other leg they show all the time in the summer. And I will be getting four more- something for each of my kids, once I’m done nursing both of my youngest. I’m not into piercings, if I was young and cute like you I would be. I believe in not judging a book by it’s cover. If someone has an issue that’s their problem!
Nursing got me to thinking- I probably get about the same looks you do when people discover I’m still nursing my 3 year old son along with my 1 year old daughter. It’s my body, not theirs. 🙂
Some people enjoy feeling high and mighty while putting others down. Screw them! I love your piercings!
People are so mean for each other. Piercings and tattoos does not define our caracter.
Honey, you express your self how ever you need or want to. I’m 1 year from 60 & have ink & piercings, & yes, I do get judged, but not by anyone worth worrying about. You enjoy your life.
Thanks for this on your blog! My daughter is 31 and three kids! My grandchildren! She has been judged since she was 14! Yes she is tat and pierced! She has always been judged… and I have told a lot of PEOPLE off ! Why is it people always judge before they know you! They don’t even F…. know her on the inside and jump and STARE…. still boils me to this day! So, thanks for sharing!! WAKING PEOPLE UP!
Thanks Lynn! People do need to realize that tattoos and piercings don’t make the person bad!
I love this post. I had my daughter at 16 and had no tattoos until I was 21, a very small one on my left shoulder. I had no other tattoos until I was 36. Since that time, I have had 15 more. I wear each one proudly. They all have meaning to me. I have my ears’ pierced twice on the right and thrice on the left. I have my left outer conch pierced and my right forward helix pierced as well. I had my belly button pierced but it failed to heal. I had a dermal piercing between my breasts but I ended up being allergic to the stud so it also failed to heal. I had my vaginal hood pierced, which I loved, but when I got pregnant with my son at 40, I took it out prior to his birth and it healed over. 🙁
My tattoos and piercing do not make me more or less of a mother to my children. Just like a woman who choses to wear make-up, do her hair to the nines and wear a $200 suit while she is with her children, makes her more or less of a mother. It the woman that will get down on the ground and play with her children, who will wipe her child’s nose on the inside of her shirt(if necessary), who will run through the bushes and puddles because her child is screaming for her. It is the woman who will do whatever her child needs whenever her child needs it. My daughter, at 27, knows there isn’t anything that I won’t ever do for her. My son, at 3, is very quickly learning the same thing. They don’t care about my tattoos. In fact, they love my ink. My motto is, “Don’t like it, don’t look!”
Oh, by the way, you look absolutely amazing. My son and I would gladly hang out with you and your little guy. 🙂 My little man would be asking about your piercings but he asked his big sister about hers once or twice and that was it. Now I don’t think he even sees them anymore. I hope that your little guy has a good birthday. 🙂
Thank you so much Margaret. You really are a sweetheart. I appreciate it!
I have a tattoo, a large one on my leg, and I didn’t get it until I was in my forties. I will get another because I like them. I have my ears pierced, but nothing else, I find piercings a pain. Either way, it is none of my business whether you have tattoos, or piercings, they certainly do not affect your parenting skills. As usual, people need to stop judging others. Have as many as you want, if they make you happy, I am not in the position to judge, it is none of my business.
I am having my first baby girl soon and I have multiple cartilage piercings, industrial, nostril piercing, tattoo on my shoulder, and I plan on getting my septum done soon. Its really frustrating when people judge me so I completely understand! I guess there comes a time where you have to tell people to take a hike…..people are just so weary of anything that isn’t like they are used to.