Disclosure: This post is sponsored by K-Y. In order to facilitate this post, Ninjamommers has received perks in the form of products and compensation. All opinions on this blog are of Ninjamommers’ own and not influenced in any way.
I am going to be honest here. Sex after baby can be daunting. In fact, many women view postpartum sex as something they want to avoid. I know I did at first. You see, for me, my body changed. A lot. I went from tall and lean, to tall and rather round. The stretch marks encompassed my entire stomach from bottom to top and my mom pouch game was stronger than I wanted it to be. I remember standing naked in front of the mirror when my son was 6 weeks old, wondering what in the world happened. Everything had changed on the outside and I was experiencing joy on the inside that I never had in my life. It was a confusing time to be honest.
Sex After Baby
You see, I had never been more attracted to my husband than after we had our son. Watching him be an active, loving father made me want to jump his bones every which way. The only thing that was standing in the way of absolute mind-blowing, uninhibited sex after baby, was me. It was the way I viewed my new body, it was the fear that it would hurt. This went on for years. Sure, we had sex but I was often very closed off about it. I had so many things that I felt I had to put at the forefront of my own pleasure, comfort, and needs. It was a whirlwind of putting myself last.
Then, came our daughter. She was a whopping 10lbs. This is when I decided that I never wanted to see my vagina again. I truly felt like that. I mean, 10lbs? Yikes. I did not want to know what was going on down there anymore. As far as I was concerned, for the first few months after she was born, I no longer was a sexual being and my purpose reverted back to putting everything and everyone else above my own pleasure, comfort, and needs.
Then, one day, something happened. I started to realize that as someone who once thoroughly enjoyed sex, I was truly missing out. I decided it was time to love myself. It was time to allow myself some “me time” to rediscover my own body and start loving myself again… and yes I mean that in every way.
Rediscover Your Body On Your Own Terms Mom!
The day that I decided to get rid of the shame and take control of my sex life, changed everything. While I was not immediately free from the constraints I had put on myself, I chose to face them head-on. I learned to love my body, no matter how changed it was. I took the time to rediscover who I was, what I liked and allowed myself to feel pleasure without the guilt.
Educating myself played a huge role in these changes though.
Did you know that women may not be primed for their best lubrication nearly 2/3rds of the month? This is based on the characteristic and volume of cervical lubrication at baseline for a normal 28-day menstrual cycle. In fact, if you are not properly lubricated, sex or self-pleasure can actually be uncomfortable. This discomfort, many women, myself included, associated with their changed bodies, rather than something that they can actually help.
How to Get Back into Sex After Baby
Remind Yourself You are Sexy
Pregnancy can greatly change your body and the way you view it. In order to get back into having sex after pregnancy, you have to learn to appreciate the things your body does for you. Truly love yourself, remind yourself that you are sexy and stay away from the self-criticisms. While you may feel as though you do not have a lot of time to spend getting dressed and putting on makeup, these things can help you to boost your confidence. When you can find the time, engage in self-care as often as possible. Get your hair done, go get a manicure or simply relax in a hot bath and shave your legs. Doing these small things can go a long way when it comes to reminding yourself you are sexy.
Use Sexual Aids
As I said above, 2/3rds of the month, women are not optimally lubricated for sex. This can actually decrease your libido and cause sex and other physical intimacy to become uncomfortable. I have found that using a lubricant like K-Y SENSUAL SILK helps to provide immediate moisture that can not only enhance your comfort but also your overall experience. In fact, there are several different amazing types of lubricant that K-Y has that can help to enhance your experience. K-Y WARMING JELLY is another one that I quite enjoy. Not only does it warm on contact and provide an exciting sensation, but it is also non-greasy and latex compatible. When it comes to lubricants I trust, K-Y is my favourite as it is the #1 doctor recommended vaginal lubricant brand.
Truly Connect on an Emotional Level
My husband and I always have a better physical connection when we are focusing on our emotional connection as well. It is important that you take time to spend quality time, having conversations with your significant other. After all, emotional intimacy will allow you to feel better connected as a couple, rather than just as parents.
Bring Your Sexy Back
While it may take a while after pregnancy to get your sexy back, it can happen. It happened for me! My oldest is now 11 and my youngest is 8 and while I am a little older and my body does not look the same as it once did, I know it is capable of amazing things, and that my friends, is hot! There is not shame in my game anymore, and there shouldn’t be in yours either. Take control of your sex life and have better sex, always!
Enter to Win!
Now you can Enter the MY K-Y Contest! Enter to win 1 of 4 $1000 Spa Gift Cards to help you get your sexy back! For more details visit the K-Y Contest site.