As a mother, sometimes I feel like there are several cries for help that almost always go unanswered. Sometimes I just need a darn nap. GOOD LUCK right!?
I was contemplating this the other day, what other cries for help go unanswered? I realized there are quite a few. Let’s review shall we?
5 Cries for Help from Mom
Mom Needs a Nap
So often, I feel like I could just fall straight to sleep standing up in the kitchen washing dishes. Can you imagine? Head first into the soapy dishwater. I would emerge covered in soap and food morsels but at least I would be rested. If I didn’t drown.
The likelihood of me actually getting a nap…. well, it’s just not going to happen.
Mom Needs to Make a Phone Call
Ha! Ha! Ha! HA. I laugh because I can’t cry. The SECOND the phone rings, or I put the phone up to my dish soap drowning head, someone is dying of thirst. REHYDRATION. WE ARE IN THE DESERT. Is that a mirage? No, it’s my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I stare back at myself trying to make a phone call while tiny people scream about Poop through the locked door. Maybe the closet would have been better? Not likely.
Mom Needs to Poop… Alone
You would think I am fixated on using the bathroom alone. I am! The many times I spoken before about needing to poop alone, shows that. I need to just go have a bowel movement, where I can just relax and let things flow. Nope. Can’t do it. Ever. Dogs. Kids. MY HUSBAND. All in the bathroom. “Ew you stink Mom” Thanks! GET OUT. If a poop falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it does it make a noise? I am going to find out because I may have to start moving my bowels there. “Where are you going mom?” “Oh, just to the forest to crap.”
Mom Needs to Shave her Legs
I am starting to look like a Wooly Mammoth over here. Seriously. The second I try to shave my legs, someone is at the door, the dogs are vomiting, the kids are fighting, my phone is ringing… Ya know, the usual. I usually get half of one leg shaved and then walk around like a before and after picture. Smooth like before kids, hairy like after.
Mom Needs to Eat
No seriously. I need food. Believe it or not, I can not sustain myself off cheerios I find in the couch cushions. I have tried. Mmmm Couch Cheerios. I don’t want to share. I DON’T. I also don’t want to HAVE to hide out over the sink to eat my delicious turkey sandwich. I just fed you! HOW CAN YOU BE HUNGRY? No you don’t need a bite of mine. Ok just one bite. I said one bite not the entire sandwich. Where are those couch cheerios?
What unanswered cries for help from Mom do you have?