Sometimes, there are a few things in life you should keep to yourself.

Have you ever heard the saying: “Happy Wife, Happy Life”? Well, I have to admit. I must agree.

I am far more inclined to be positive, reassuring and nice if my significant other isn’t being ignorant or rude (even if he doesn’t mean to be.) In fact, I love making his lunches, rubbing his back, making complicated and delicious dinners and even shoveling all this white crap off the driveway before he comes home so he has a place to park… IF, I am feeling special.

Now, I am not what I would consider to be “High Maintenance.” I don’t require fancy possessions, or to be showered with praise, just doing the dishes and not saying stupid crap is sufficient for me… 

10 Things NOT to say to your Wife

1. Where are all my clean socks?

Well, let’s be honest. I am unsure I have located all your dirty ones.. check under the couch. Want them laundered? Put them in the laundry basket, located in the bedroom for your convenience. If YOU don’t know where your socks are, what makes you think I do?

2. RELAX

SHUT UP. The entire reason I am so worked up, is because I was unable to relax because you were asking me where your freaking socks were.

3. Are you SERIOUSLY going to eat all that?

Are you SERIOUSLY asking me that question?

4. But my Mom used to… 

I didn’t birth you. So, um… SHUT IT

5. You’re too Sensitive

You’re too stupid. Shaddup.

6. Wow! She’s so Good Looking

FACEPALM

7. What did you do all day?

Sat here and contemplated all the stupid damn questions you’d come home and ask me.

8. Oh, my coworker and his wife are coming over dinner tonight… 

Um, PARDON? It’s 4:45Pm… Give me some notice. I am in pajamas, the house is the mess and I had KD planned for dinner tonight. How’s about you ask what night is good for me first?

9. Are you going to put on makeup before we leave?

Well, we are almost out the door. There is no makeup on my face. So… *Bad Word* followed by off. 

10. Is it “That time of the month?” 

No, actually, you just legit make me THIS angry on a good day. Better be careful of  next week though. 

 What Would You do if your Significant Other said any of these to you?