You Know You’re Pregnant When – 20 Hilarious Ways to Know You Are With Child
Pregnancy can be such an amazing time in your life. Feeling your little one move for the first time, hearing their heartbeat. The memories are all there for me, clear as day. While a positive pregnancy test is the first way to know you’re pregnant, there are also some funny identifiers that can clue you in. If you are feeling the pressures of being with child, a laugh might be just the ticket. You Know You’re Pregnant When you search for ways to get a good giggle about pregnancy.
You Know You’re Pregnant When
There are many indicators that will let you know you’re pregnant. A positive test, a trip to the doctor, and a growing abdomen. There are, however, some pretty interesting things that go along with pregnancy, which can also give a pretty clear indication that you are with child.
You Cry At Cereal Commercials
This totally happened to me. Especially the cute ones where the kids are sharing a sibling love moment over a bowl of delicious cereal. Why did I cry? I was pregnant.
You want to eat everything in sight
This is including that whole cake that you just baked for your sister’s birthday. You are just going to have to tell her that you forgot it at home. You know you’re pregnant when you have to assure someone you didn’t eat their food… especially if you actually did.
Your Husband Drive You Bonkers
The sound of your husband’s voice either brings tears of joy to your eyes, or tremors of anger over your body. There really is no in-between. I mean, how dare he get to walk without waddling!
Your Pregnancy Pillow has a Name
You have named your pregnancy pillow. Mine was named Edwardo, and he just kind of understood me. In fact, I cuddled with him more than I cuddled with my husband at the time. I think my thought process was that the pillow wasn’t the one that made me fat.
Your bath towel no longer covers your belly
This one is all too true. You’re scared you will have to resort to using the shower curtain.
You begin to forget what your ankles looked like
This could be because now they resemble your thighs.
You find yourself crossing your legs, hard when you sneeze
You live in fear that just a little pee will come out. Heck, your crossing your legs through coughing and laughing now too. Better safe than sorry. Oh how I miss you bladder control. It never fully returned afterward either.
You wake up in the morning on your left side just like your supposed to
You may be sleeping the right way, but you can’t roll out of bed because you are tangled in blankets. You are also trapped in your pregnancy pillow and you HAVE TO PEE. Better not sneeze.
9. You notice your husband has put on about as much weight as you
You envy him because you know it will take him no time to lose it while you struggle for months. You barely have time to eat anything after the baby is born and STILL won’t lose the weight right away.
Your favorite food? Yeah, probably not anymore.
The idea or smell of it cooking makes you want to hurl all over the place. Goodbye Chicken, see ya in a few months.
You find yourself cleaning parts of your house you didn’t even know existed
They are so clean now you could eat off of them! You know you’re pregnant when you clean like crazy.
Sitting down on the floor sounds like a good idea at the time.
That is, until you have to get up. This is the point you will grunt, moan and labour just to get your butt 1 inch off the ground. Then you only sit back down and wallow in self pity at how huge you are.
You realize There is NO SUCH THING as the Pregnancy glow
You may look like your glowing. That’s sweat, nausea or gas. No one else needs to know that though!
People Start Inquiring about Your Weight
When someone asks you how much weight you’ve gained you begin to wonder if being pregnant also makes your personal information anyone else’s business. Would they have asked you how much weight you’ve gained if you weren’t pregnant? If the answer is “yes” refrain from hitting them. No one wants to go to jail pregnant. Slowly back away, perhaps ask them how many poops they took the day before.
Your Body HURTS
Your hips hurt, your back hurts and you swear you may have just heard your ribs break. I doesn’t matter though because the baby is moving and kicking in there, so it’s cute right. OW!
That Person in the Mirror Scares you
You look in the mirror and wonder who that insane lady with the crazy hair, no makeup and beach ball tucked under her shirt is. This is only to realize that it’s you. Then one of two things happens. You either get so mad that you look like this that you spend 3 hours trying to improve your appearance only to realize that you won’t be satisfied as long as your face looks as swollen as your butt feels. OR, You cry, and cry and cry… until your husband comes home and laughs at you.
Feet? What feet!?
I still had feet? Could have fooled me. I hadn’t seen them in a while. You know you’re pregnant when you have no idea where your feet are.
You Forget Things, A lot
You forget where you put your keys, the phone, what you said a second ago. You seemingly forget everything. They call this baby brain, and just like your bladder control, your brainpower returns, but never fully.
A nap sounds nice
Even though you JUST woke up. All I wanted to do was curl up on the couch with a bucket of fried chicken.
You can clear a room
Your gas scares even the dog, and even you can’t stomach the smell. What is that? Pickles, eggs and fried chicken? Yuck.
Oh sister, I love it. So true. There’s one this you forgot. And yes, I am just going to come out and say it…. THE BUSH. The lovely can’t see Your own private parts anymore…. Oh yay.
OMG I TRIED! I told my fiancÃ© if he wanted it done, do it himself, cause that’s too much yoga. Immmposssiibblleeeee! I’m sooo glad that I’m not alone in the “I can’t wear a bikini cause I can’t see my crotch let alone shave it” department
That * you forgot… Not this you forgot. You also become slightly stupid. Ha!
I had blocked most of those from my memory…some I still have and I haven’t been pregnant in 8 years!
Following you from the Canadian blog hop 🙂
LOL…this made me laugh as I nodded my head in agreement. Looks like congrats are in order for you then…so exciting!! Don’t forget the good parts of pregnancy too…like that beautiful glow, nice shiny hair and strong fingernails!
You also forgot that heartburn/acid reflux likes to sneek up when your not looking and certain foods give you it from just LOOKING at it. I cry.
following from the we are canadian bloghop
Lol! Thanks everyone! Guess I should have done more than 20!! Love the input 😉
Funny that you mentioned chicken. I had to stop eating real meat (as opposed to processed meat) while pregnant this last time and I still have barely gotten back to it three months later. I can’t eat more than a tbsp of meat unless it has something to dip it in. Even then sometimes I gag (especially white meat.) In fact I’ve barely had a bite of porkchop in a year.
I must add….
a) Cheesecake. Nuff said
b) you long for the days that you had a long satisfying pee, you know, the ones you could hold for 6 hours and at the end have that huge relief of ahhhhhhhhh.
c) getting off the toliet becomes a bigger challange with the question of “how long is the towel rack really going to support my weight?”
d) you go to put on a shirt that literally just fit the other day and now you can’t breath.
Yes, pregnancy glow is a lie. haha.