Sanctimommies, Momsplaining and Nonsensical Judgment

Let’s get a few things straight here. There are so many judgmental people out there in the world, and through my experience, Other Moms are the WORST for this. 

Being a Mom isn’t easy. In fact, it’s fucking hard. This shit is not for the weak, that I can tell you for certain. You know what though? Being a PERSON is hard. Dealing with real life is hard. It’s all hard. 

So, why? Why do people feel as though they have the right to comment, judge and be downright rude to others? 

I have witnessed droves of Sanctimommies trying to Momsplain their judgment away both online and in real life. Using excuses for being a judgmental person, and making others feel bad, doesn’t really work for me. I have fallen victim to it myself and witnessed others go through it as well.

It’s HEARTbreaking.

The worst part? We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. We are judged by other Moms for literally everything. Extended Breastfeeding, We didn’t breastfeed long enough, We bottle fed, We started our kids on solids too early… I mean what the fuck!? Apparently, we just can’t get anything right. 

It is pretty disgusting that no matter what we do, we have to deal with someone else literally VOICING what they think we are doing wrong as a Parent. It’s embarrassing, it’s degrading and it’s downright ignorant and quite frankly, it’s no one else’s business what we do and as long as our children are taken care of and loved and not in harm’s way, why does it matter? I certainly don’t need someone to momsplain parenthood to me… thank you though.

The thing is: if you don’t have anything nice to say, perhaps you shouldn’t say anything at all. Especially NOT loud enough for the Mom you are trash talking to hear while she struggles with what she’s doing. 

I am serious.

“Oh my god look at her hair it looks terrible, why doesn’t she brush it?” 

Umm because I woke up super late this morning by accident because I was up all night talking to my friend on the phone that has just lost her Mother, and I thought it was more important to get my kids ready for school. 

“Can you believe that she lets her kid dye her hair? She’s only 6”

And it’s only food colouring but even if it wasn’t, I allow my children to express themselves in constructive ways so if she wants to dye her hair, fine. If she wants to talk loudly about other people’s choices… not so much.

“Why doesn’t she control her Child!? Like Oh My GOD why would she let him act that way in a grocery store,!? She should just leave the store with him.” 

How do we know that Mom isn’t a single Mom with no family around to help babysit and the rest of the kids need to eat? How do we know that he child doesn’t have ADHD, Autism or another developmental disorder? WE don’t. YOU don’t. So mind your own business. 

There are many times that I have tried to impress other people. I am not perfect and quite frankly I don’t care anymore. There is lots to judge me for, so if you need to…

HAVE AT IT

  • I love my Kids with all my heart.
  • I Smoke Cigarettes.
  • I have high Anxiety.
  • I use Dr. Prescribed CBD oil for my Anxiety (and it WORKS!)
  • Breastfeeding didn’t work for me the first time so I didn’t even try with my second.
  • I bottle fed, EXCLUSIVELY from the time my son was 2 months and only ever bottle fed my daughter.
  • I started my kids on baby food when they were 4 months old. 
  • I vaccinate. 
  • I do not and will not co-sleep, our bed is for myself and my husband to sleep in.
  • I swear often and have used curse words in front of my kids. 
  • I have a full Tattoo Sleeve
  • I have Piercings – Septum, Ears, Nose, and Vertical Labret.
  • I dye my hair crazy colours sometimes.
  • I make my kids lunches every single day the night before. 
  • I work from home. 
  • I drink Beer. 
  • I order Pizza on nights I don’t want to cook. Often. 
  • I let the kids play video games and have screen time. 
  • My children have chores they have to do every day.
  • I am afraid of Chemicals and clean my house mostly using homemade cleaning products.
  • I have never used a Cloth diaper for my kids in my entire life. 
  • I have gone too long without showering before.
  • My kids aren’t allowed to have to much sugar, because it DOES make them hyper.
  • My daughter has behavioural issues. 
  • I am strict, they have set bedtimes and consquences to negative behaviours.
  • Sometimes, I get exhausted and I wish I could go on vacation or just find a babysitter.
  • I am not perfect. I make mistakes.

Just so you know… even if you are the COMPLETE opposite of everything I just wrote, I don’t judge your parenting, and it doesn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. No ONE. Not me, not anyone, knows how to parent your Children better than you. Remember that. 

What would be on your list?

Are you a Sanctimommy?

 

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