Some people just scream “I am a better Mom than you!” Have you ever felt as though Motherhood has turned into a constant competition!? Why!? Judgement seems to fly everywhere like a Moth around a light bulb.
It can be frustrating and put a lot of pressure onto Mothers, to know that there is a possibility of judgement, no matter where they are or who they are with. Sometimes, it can even feel like your friends are convinced that they are better than you. Little quips, and comments can be made that make one feel as though they are failing as a parent. It’s not easy to be a Mom, no matter HOW you do things, and I think we need to support each other.
5 Things not to say to Another Mom
1. “Oh, Really…. My Daughter was….”
“Potty Trained at 1”, “Writing her name by now”, “Walking at 9 Months”… Whatever it may be. This one is not so much what you say, but more so the tone you say it in. If your daughter was doing something before another Mom’s, it’s not necessary to point it out as you can not only add to her worry, but also make her feel as though she is doing something wrong.
2. “But I work”
If your Stay at Home Mom, or Work at Home Mom, friend has had less time than normal, has been expressing how busy she is, or even just seems run down, it is never acceptable to say “but I work.” Just because you work outside of the home does not mean you work anymore than the stay at home mom, or have anymore of a right to be tired than her. We all have different battles, we all have different schedules and responsibilities and it’s not ok to make her feel as though what she does is insignificant.
3. “If my Kid did that, I would….”
Would you? Would you really? Well guess what? Not your kid. So mind your own business. It’s really not necessary to point out what you would do in a situation that your friend is in, especially to that friend. If you aren’t asked for advice. Keep it to yourself.
4. “My Child wouldn’t be Allowed to eat…..”
Sugar, Fast food, etc. Again, Good for you! You must be the Mother of the Year! However, sometimes, When I am on the go, I do allow my child those things, and quite frankly, it’s really not your business.
5. “You Really Should…”
Again, volunteering advice. Advice that you were NOT asked for. Don’t tell me what I REALLY should do… Really Don’t.
It’s very hard to not feel judged by other parents when you are hearing those things all the time. There are other ways to show support or help without having to make comments. Be careful how you say things, and don’t make your friends feel less than, or like you are implying you are better than them, otherwise you won’t have those friends for very long.