Glucose tests, Vampire offices and Sicky Mcsicks
Oh Glucose Tests are fun aren’t they?
You know what I love? I love sitting in a germ infested lab where they think they are vampires and have to take the blood out of your body using brute force. By brute force of course I mean, pretty much strapping you to the chair. Or did that just happen to me? Why do I always end up with the nurse that has to stab me like 30 times before they hit the vein? I swear a lot of the nurses that I have dealt with have been grump too. Not to say anything rude about nurses, they have hard jobs. I certainly couldn’t go around stabbing people for a living. Nope. Blood. Not for me.
As for Glucose tests. Oh lovely beautiful glucose tests. I love being told to consume a warm, orange beverage that tastes kind of like someone rubbed their dirty bum all over the vat of orange pop and then shipped it to these vampires to catch us unsuspecting people off guard and render us useless due to an abundance of nausea.
I love being told that after consuming said beverage I have to sit in the vampire’s waiting room, for an entire hour while hacky mcCough Cough, across the room there spews disgusting spittle out of his dirty twisted mouth threatening to land upon my germaphobic body.
This is fun. I am still sitting in this room- no seriously. Thankfully its only an hour long. But after this unpleasant endeavor waiting in a room with a bunch of sucky magees, I will be called back to another little cubicle space where they will stab the crap out of my arm with a needle.. YAY!
All this before I was even allowed to have a coffee.
When I had to go for that test, I told the nurse to go F herself, I’m going for a walk and if you attempt to stop me I may become a patient that needs restraints. They allowed me to go for a walk after that.
I fainted from that orange drink. And so did another kid. And there was only one nurse, so she went to the kid obv. And everyone sat there and watched until another nurse too forever to come in.