Dear Bully- A Letter to Bullies Everywhere

letter to bullies

 Dear Bully,

I know you. I know you too well. You lurk everywhere I go. You seem to be waiting to pounce.


Why do you feel the need to degrade others and make them feel bad about themselves?

Is it that I am not good enough? Is it that you feel you aren’t?


Who has made you feel less than? Who has hurt you to the point that makes you feel the need to hurt others in order to feel better about yourself?

I will help.

I may be an adult but I have experienced bullying in elementary school. I was bullied a lot in fact, about my weight, about my music choices, about anything really.

Want to know what I did?

I did the wrong thing.

For a short time, at school, I picked on others to build myself up. I so badly didn’t want to be bullied at that time in my life, that being the bully seemed right to me.

It wasn’t the right thing. AT ALL.

Did it really make me feel any better? NO.

Did it make others stop bullying me? NO.

Did it teach me a life lesson? YES.

I am 27 years old and I still dream of being back in school, being picked on relentlessly. I wake up and remember how that made me feel. I want to be a better person. EACH and EVERY day.

I try to be understanding and helpful. I am NOT a bully.

Bullying isn’t just physical, it’s mental, it’s emotional. Bullying is not limited to school. Adults are bullies too. They should know better, but they don’t.

Bullying doesn’t do anything but harm others. It doesn’t make you feel better… and it certainly doesn’t make you better in general. In fact, it makes you into something you are not; a bad person.

You can do better. You can be better. You ARE better.

That person you are picking on? Yeah, they may have just lost their Father.

That lady that lives down the street that you spread rumors about? She is in the middle of a divorce.

That girl you are throwing things at in class? Yeah, her Mother is mean to her at home.

Sometimes, people just hit their breaking point. Sometimes, being bullied isn’t the cause of the sadness, it’s just the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Dear Bully, Please tell me; why are you so sad?


  1. Jennifer Saarinen on December 6, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    That is so true and you put it into words so beautifully.

  2. MultiTestingMOm on December 6, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    Oh wow – what an incredible post!!! I am going to share it, pin it and promote it however I can because your story needs to reach others. As a parent, I try to ask my children so many questions every day so that I can know what is going on in their lives so that I can support them as much as possible. I too was bullied and didn’t feel comfortable sharing with my parents – that was the worst thing to do too. Hugs, hugs and MORE hugs – my heart goes out to you!!!!

  3. Brandy on December 6, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    What a beautiful and well written post. It is very important that everyone is going through something. You may not see it on the outside because a lot of people know how to put on a brave face (me being one of those people). This is a great reminder to all of us to think before we speak and act.

  4. Randa @ The Bewitchin' Kitchen on December 6, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    I think this applies to everyone, even adults. I’m NOT a bully but a person can only take so much, whenever I’m in a situation where I’m about to snap (whether it’s at the grocery store, retail store or driving) I do my best to slow down and think about THEIR situation. You’re exactly right, maybe they just lost someone close to them or are having a bad day.

    Back when I was in school, the bullies usually had really bad home lives. They came from families of abuse. I’m not saying that’s an excuse because there are kids out there who just want to be MEAN but I just think it’s sad when an individual doesn’t have the opportunity to learn right from wrong.

  5. Kerrie @ Family Food and Travel on December 6, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    It is so true that you never know what people are going through. You never know their story.

  6. Crystal @ Sew Creative on December 6, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    I find one of the scariest things about being a mom is worrying about my kids being bullied. It’s heartbreaking. My daughter is in kindergarten right now and has had a few “conflicts” that I addressed with the parents and teacher and they were quickly resolved. It terrifies me that soon the day will come that parent involvement could make things worse.

    Beautiful letter.

  7. Ellen Christian on December 8, 2013 at 1:30 am

    Both of my children were bullied when younger & my son still is. It is such a horrible thing to have to deal with.

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