Im No Superhero- Ninjas, Superheros and Parenting…. What kind of Parent Are You?
Im no superhero… although I DO claim to be a Ninja. I am a pretty lame excuse for a Ninja. If you have read my blog posts in the past year you would know why. I fall down stairs… frequently. I trip on my own feet, get in wrestling matches with my shower curtain, fight with my pregnancy pillow and can’t even sneak away into the bathroom to poop without getting noticed. None the less, I am a Ninja and that’s the end of THAT debate.
But, back to my original point. I am NOT a superhero. I can’t fly or fight crime, I don’t wear tights… especially with my underwear over top of them in fear that will just accentuate my sausage link legs, I don’t drive a special car around Gotham city and I don’t shoot webs out of my sleeves… very often. So why does it feel like there is this pressure on me to be a Superhero when it comes to being a Mother? This is a pressure I put on myself that is accentuated by those glorified TV mom’s. Sometimes your mom friends or acquaintances that tell the stories of their perfect lives with their perfect children (who are usually stealing from the Bulk candy bin and chasing each other around the store pelting each other with hard candies while screaming) don’t help either. And while their Mothers are so focused on telling you how well behaved those kids are… implying they, themselves are amazing parents… their children are acting like hooligans! This however, leaves me thinking… if Little Man did that for one second.. we would be out of the store and in the car on the way home… and then I start wondering if I am too hard on him… and if her kids ARE happier than he is… because their Mother lets them act this way…
Sometimes I feel like I raise my voice a little too much with Little Man. I ask myself constantly if I am putting him in Time Out too often, or find myself longing for “Me time” for what feels like an eternity… and then I feel wrong. I feel the need to make myself feel like a bad Mother. I question myself and my parenting daily. I love my kids, I discipline (when they are old enough of course), I don’t stand for misbehavior or back talk. I am what I would call “Strict”… but I do it because I love them (I know, I sound like my Mother but it’s true) I just so badly want my Children to thrive and learn and BEHAVE. But most importantly I WANT, no NEED them to feel LOVED at the same time… ALL THE TIME. So, even when Little Man is getting in trouble for deciding that the floor is a fantastic place to draw a road for his cars to drive on… (Even though Santa got him some AWESOME racetracks this year… that weren’t cheap… Ho Ho Ho) and I put him in Time out and take away his crayons for the day… I tell him: “Mommy is Upset. I love you and you know you are not supposed to “enter ridiculous action here” so you are in time out for 3 1/2 Minuets and I am taking away your “Enter object used to commit or participate in ridiculous action here”. I try to make him feel that even though Mommy is disappointed/mad/frustrated, Mommy will always love him.. those moments included.
I CAN’T be Supermom. I just can’t. I am always going to question my methods, whether they are too strict or not strict enough. Or, if the course of discipline I took was fitting for the act he committed. Does anyone else do this to themselves? Does everyone else feel the pressure to be a superhero in disguise? Who knows!?
All I know is that I am going to stick to being a Ninja.. it’s SO much easier than being a Superhero… I can’t get tangled in a cape if I don’t wear one… one less thing to worry about.
Parenting is such a tough job and sometimes it is very difficult to feel good about the job you are doing when you don’t really know WHAT you are doing! LOL! I’m constantly second guessing myself. Hugs!
I am no super hero either.. I have second guessed myself tons and I am sure I will keep doing it. But as long as we keep telling our children that we love them and remember what our goals are we are doing fine.
Just today I was thinking geez my daughter never stops talking, all I wanted was 5 mins of quiet… Is that horrible of me?
Parenting it tough on the best of days, it’s those rare happy moments that keep me going through the tough ones..
I think this is a very normal Mom feeling! I think it’s really important, though, to be a bit strict as a parent — enough so kids learn boundaries, rules, and appropriate behaviours. As an elementary school teacher, we can instantly peg which home life lets kids be in charge of everything and which home life is teaching children how to navigate life in age-appropriate steps, and how to be respectful, good listeners, etc. It’s amazing how much home life instantly effects school behaviours.
It sounds like you’re setting your child up for success — kids test us CONSTANTLY afterall, we can’t give in to them just because that would be the “easy way out”… instead, we need to tackle their inappropriate behaviours so that it isn’t repeated, and so they don’t grow up spoiled!
I take my job as mom quite seriously and feel I make parenting mistakes all the time. You are not alone on the journey.
Just do what you can and love your children. I never get everything done but there is always tomorrow. Enjoy the moments because they only stay young for a short period of their life.
You are so not alone 🙂 I try to be the best Mom I can be, but I make mistakes. A lot of mistakes! I suffer from Mommy guilt. I get upset with myself when I lose oatience, can’t get everything done or be everything for everyone. I get frustrated…and have been known to, ock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes so I can cry. It’s a tough job being a Mom.Balancing work, home, child, and everything else can be overwhelming at times 🙂
Parenting is very hard. One thing I learned along the way is to pick my battles and that my kids still needed to have fun. At one point I was so focused on making sure I was raising well behaved, well disciplined children, I forgot that they need to explore and test, yes with guidance from me as to what is right and wrong but they also need to have fun too. It’s the hardest balancing act of all. Your not alone.