Being a mom, I sometimes get so caught up in “Mothering”, that I totally forget about my surroundings…. and then I do strange things I should probably avoid doing in public… because I have kids, and those kids call me on EVERYTHING. Embarrassing moms are the WORST. I know. I am one.
Embarrassing Moms-5 Things Moms Should Avoid Doing in Public
1. Licking your hand to get the “schmutz” off your kids face
This usually results in cries of absolute HORROR from your 6 year old, that draws attention from passers by. Those passers by have now become witness to your 6 year old, falling to his knees, attempting to wipe his face off because now, as he so eloquently puts it: “It smells like your disgusting spit!” Embarassing MOMS! Sheesh!
2. Farting… even quietly.
If you are out in public with your kids and you just HAVE to pass gas. HAVE TO. I would strongly suggest holding it in…. or running around while you do it, pushing the cart showing those darn kids everything in the toy aisle to distract them. If you do NOT distract them or at least attempt to; your gas passing will be announced so loudly that you will think someone is paging an employee over the loud speaker, except that “MOM YOU FARTED!” is not an employees name and that loud speaker is your kids smart mouth. Don’t even THINK about trying to make it a silent one either, because even if it’s quiet and it smells… it will be announced with grimaces from your children about how BAD you STINK and the whoever smelt it dealt it rule never works with your kids. Smelly and Embarrassing Moms!
Yes, this goes hand in hand with the farting rule. If you are out with your young kids alone and you just have to poop in the restroom, please be prepared for them to tell the entire store about how badly you stunk up the bathroom… OR if you are in the potty training stages with your child, be prepared for clapping and loud congratulations from them about how well you pooped…
Don’t sing “Oops I did it again” when it comes on the radio in the store. Just DON’T. This can have many bad side effects and can traumatize your children. My Mother used to sing constantly when we were shopping, she has a great voice though… but I swear I vowed that moment that I would NEVER do that to my children. Well, I do. Often. I swear it’s because sometimes I am off in my own little dream land where I get to shower without interruption instead of being in store shopping for more stupid baby wipes, and well, I sing in the shower… so that’s an excuse right? Yep, Embarrassing moms.
5. Counting Change to Pay for Something
Who are you kidding right now? It’s 7am, you haven’t had a coffee yet, and your kids are currently pushing the cart into your heels… you can’t count, just break the 20. Save Yourself the embarrassment of having your 6 year old correct your math skills.