Motherhood happens so fast! It seems like one day you are partying with your friends, spending your week worrying about what amazingly fun thing you will do with your Friday night and then when plans are made you spend all day Friday preparing for them… because hey, you’re young, you’re hot and those jeans just make your ass look amazing! Then…. BAM! You are spending your week wondering what you are making for dinner, and then when the week is done you spend all day Friday picking cheerios out of your hair and avoiding the mirror… because hey, you’re still kinda young but don’t feel it, you’re covered in stretch marks and you haven’t worn jeans in ages (except those awful maternity jeans that make your ass look like a box).
I love being a Mother, don’t get me wrong. If I didn’t, I would not have had another baby. BUT sometimes I miss the excitement of getting dressed up in that new hot little outfit to go and do something needless on a Friday night… and I miss that new hot little outfit being a tight pair of jeans and a cute (OK slutty) little shirt instead of a Moo Moo because nothing else fits. Sometimes I am tempted to just wrap myself in a giant mattress… Hey at least it wouldn’t hurt when I took my usual tumble down the damned stairs.
THEN I find myself feeling guilty because I am thinking how much I miss my former body when I should just love myself.. hey the stretch marks are my marks of Motherhood…. BUT THE MOO MOO!? Ok, I can’t come to terms with THAT! Either way, The negative self talk thing has become a problem. If I am so unhappy with my body then I can lose weight, doesn’t matter if I have stretch marks or a little extra skin… maybe I should work on looking good with clothes on…. But then I NEVER do it… and the cycle continues…. and not the kinda cycle that gets me in shape… no no not a bicycle… the kinda cycle that doesn’t help me at all…
I know that the way I look isn’t important to my kids… but it is to me and so I’ve made it a bigger issue than it should be. Especially when parenting itself isn’t easy, and THAT is a whole other can of worms… those are separate struggles.
Being a Mom is different than just looking out for yourself and that is common knowledge, but I really need to learn to love myself and my body whether its a size 5 or size 25.
I love my children and they are totally worth all of it.
What is something you struggle with about yourself now that you are a Mother, if anything at all? Or I am the only one!? Ugh.