Married to a Gamer- Wives Married to Gamers Anonymous

Are you married to a gamer? Is your husband a “gamer”? Does he enjoy playing on his video game console, maybe a little too much? Do you feel as though he devotes too much free time to gaming? Do you feel slightly neglected and irritated with his games? Have you ever had fantasies of throwing his video game console/computer/cellphone/whatever through the window of a moving car traveling over a bridge?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, chances are you belong to “WMGA” (Wives Married to Gamers Anonymous). Now, while I might be only quasi anonymous based on the fact that I am clearly writing this post… I still feel it necessary to raise awareness and if I have to throw myself under the bus to do that, find me the nearest bus.

Hello, My name is Ninja Mommers and my husband is a Video Gamer… and it’s excessive.

First things first… to all the “Girlfriends” out there that think that once they get married to their “gamer” and have children, that video games will become obsolete…. Don’t count on it. Yes, they may slow down a little to spend time with the kids… but as soon as they are in bed, it’s fair game. IN FACT, once you have Children you will spend a lot of the acceptable time during the day with the television turned to cartoons with ridiculously catchy songs that you will find yourself singing in the shower… and then once the kiddies are in bed and you are singing that song on your way down the stairs thinking you are about to watch something wonderful and relax with your feet up… you will hear the ridiculously catchy theme song of whatever video game that your wonderful husband is playing… unless you are one of those “Semi” lucky wives that has a “Man Cave” for their man… chances are though that you will have to drag him out of that man cave kicking and screaming to get him to do anything… Not so lucky anymore huh? I have had it both ways… and one is NOT better than the other. Just warning you… if you think you are going to take the place of the video games… GOOD LUCK.

To all the wives married to gamers… I think we need to band together… You know who you are… and there is NOTHING wrong with admitting that we may have, at one time, been the “Girlfriends” that thought that it might change as they grew older. They are Man-Children.

Does your Man make one, or all of the following excuses?:

I don’t like Television, I need something that challenges me, and video games do just that”  (Hey Buddy I could challenge you… you just don’t like it because I always win) 

My video games don’t nag me”  (No, No, they probably don’t… however, I would nag a heck of a lot less if you got off the spot on the couch that you have clearly made an large butt indent in, and perhaps bought me some flowers)

They are just fun, I just enjoy them(I too enjoy things… such as Brownies and Skittles and Cheeseburgers, but if I ate them as much as you played video games.. I would be the size of a house.. or dead)

Those are just the few I can remember, and while I would love to provide more.. as we speak, my husband is currently playing video games and does not have the capacity to answer questions at the same time. Either way, if you have received any of those responses (or no response at all). Welcome to Wives Married To Gamers Anonymous.. Please feel free to share your story.


*Disclosure: This post is of Ninja Mommers opinion and is not meant to blame the video games themselves, or make gaming as a whole seem like a bad thing. Gaming can be a great way to relax as long as it’s not consuming you. This post is a personal account and meant to be seen in a light hearted, sarcastic light.*



  1. Tarasview on December 31, 2012 at 3:46 am

    hello, my name is Tara and my husband is a gamer. I definitely belong in the club.


    • Ninja Mommers on December 31, 2012 at 4:17 pm

      Welcome Tara. Thank you for joining us.

  2. Sherry on December 31, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Hello, My name is Sherry and my husband is a gamer…Sign me up!

    • Ninja Mommers on December 31, 2012 at 4:17 pm

      Hello and Welcome Sherry! Thank you for joining us. Admitting it is the first step!

  3. amy williams on December 31, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    I can’t complain to much that my husband is a gamer because he does work over 50 hrs a week for me to stay home with the kids, He also does do things with the kids but yes with having three game stations in the house having two boys and my husband it does drive me crazy.

    • Ninja Mommers on December 31, 2012 at 8:23 pm

      Amy, My husband is a gamer, he works over 50 hours a week and I stay home with the kids as well. He does things with the children sometimes too, but I would like some free time in my own home to watch what I want… that and I would like to have some human interaction with my husband instead of communicating with grunts and groans while his eyes are fixed to his games.

      While I am lucky I get to stay home with my kids.. I think everything in moderation and it gets frustrating.

      • amy williams on January 17, 2013 at 1:37 pm

        You had me laughing at the grunts and groans because I get those too and it does drive me crazy and I completly understand wanting the communication I have told my husband before that I was leaving before to go to my mom’s and he said yeah ok and then when I was walking out the door he says where are you going that does drive me nuts and he plays in the living room so it drives me crazy cause he hates for people to walk in front of him

  4. Shana on January 1, 2013 at 2:41 am

    My SO is a huge gamer. I’ve picked up a controller and joined him, but I just don’t have the attachment to them like he does. I’d rather do something else!

    • Ninja Mommers on January 2, 2013 at 4:32 pm

      I understand Shana. I have also done the same, but the attachment just isn’t there for me.

  5. orangeheromama on January 1, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    This post doesn’t even begin to cover some of the other fun stuff gamer wives get to put up on nights when it’s a nice tv and ‘snuggle’ night he stays awake about an hour and a half…but if he’s gaming with friends they get about 5 hours(yes, till about 2:30am).
    Or then there is the yelling and cursing…which i get to hear, even though there is a floor between us..he has a man cave, but no door 🙁
    I could go on, but i won’t..I’m bitter and about to cry just thinking about it all.

    • Sandra on January 2, 2013 at 1:33 am

      I feel your pain!

      • Ninja Mommers on January 2, 2013 at 4:34 pm

        Oh my does this ever sound the same as me! Husband can spend an hour and a half snuggling with me and hanging out before he just falls asleep… but when he’s hanging out with his friends gaming or gaming alone he can stay up until 3am sometimes! I can relate to the yelling/cursing as well. How can something that isn’t “REAL” anger you THAT much!? So much passion there for video game… I Want that passion to be redirected to something.

    • Mary on March 13, 2018 at 12:46 pm

      OMG yes! falls asleep immediately, and the frickin yelling at the game. We have a two year old… stfu!

  6. krista grandstaff on January 1, 2013 at 9:25 pm

    My husband is a gamer…and to be fair…I did NOT know before we got married, sneaky! I would rather that he play a regular video game like my 3 sons and daughter do… This break has had almost every television in the house taken, and then they run for their comps to check something etc… I can handle that. He is addicted to World of Warcraft..omg, I do hate that crap. LOL I hate walking into a room and thinking he is talking to me, only to see that he has his headgear on and is talking to his little friends…!! My bedroom looks like a man cave with books and manuals and head sets…and even his drum set in there… ugh. I may have a little more anger than most as I have been begging to have some shelves hung in the laundry room for three weeks and was promised today would be the day…and yet he’s in there with a wolf and some broccoli people… LOL

    • Ninja Mommers on January 2, 2013 at 4:35 pm

      Krista. I have that problem as well. I ask for something to get done… I always get: “I’ll do it later”… 3 weeks pass and then it’s not done…. and he’s too busy playing a game that can’t possibly be paused!!

  7. MultiTestingMom on January 1, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    LOL I could totally join you – however, my husband is married to a blogger – I honestly don’t know what is worse 🙁

    I’m sorry!

    • Ninja Mommers on January 2, 2013 at 4:36 pm

      I stand by the video games as being worse 😛

  8. Sandra on January 2, 2013 at 1:32 am

    My name is Sandra and my husband plays Call of Duty online. Apparently this means he cannot speak to hear or acknowledge anyone while a “live” game is in progress.

    • Ninja Mommers on January 2, 2013 at 4:36 pm

      Hi Sandra, Welcome!

      I have that issue. Trust me.

  9. Kristen Bobbitt on January 2, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    I am sooo happy my husband doesn’t play video games. It would drive me crazy! We are both TV freaks who like the same shows so it is very nice to relax in front of the TV together after the kids are in bed. Good luck to all of you ladies!

  10. Jenna Em on January 2, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Luckily, my husband is not a gamer. We had a different problem in our household with our children and cyber addiction:


    • Ninja Mommers on January 2, 2013 at 4:37 pm

      Thank you for sharing your story Jenna! That sounds very serious. I am glad you were able to overcome it.

  11. Annie @ It's just my life... on January 2, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    I am so grateful that my husband is not a gamer I have heard from many friends who husbands are always playing games. I have to say I play on our wii more than him but maybe it is because of the games we have. 🙂

    • Ninja Mommers on January 2, 2013 at 4:38 pm

      That’s awesome Annie! Such a positive thing.

  12. Erin on January 17, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    You’re using “gamer” as a blanket term to describe EXCESSIVE gaming. That’s just unfair. What about those that are avid gamers but put their families, kids, work, responsibilities, and even *gasp* playing sports before video games? I’m married to a gamer, but he’s not what you’re trying to stereotype the term as.

    I’ve never resented the games and I actually have my own hobbies too… we can’t be glued to one another every second – and having hobbies is healthy.

    I would feel differently if he ignored me or the kids, if he wouldn’t get up and DO things, or if he was unhealthy and overweight because he wasn’t active…but that’s a personality problem, not a “gamer” problem.

    …and what about the wives who spend hours a day on Facebook playing Farmville type games? They are also gamers. Playing games = gaming = you’re a gamer. Now there is a huge different between being a GAMER and being an EXCESSIVE Gamer who can’t see past the computer screen to save their lives (or marriage).

    Gaming is not the problem. Don’t kid yourselves…your husbands just don’t care.

    • Ninja Mommers on January 17, 2013 at 8:25 pm

      Hi Erin,
      I would like to start off saying how much I appreciate you stopping by and leaving your feedback.

      However, I must inform you that it didn’t intend to use the term “gamer” to imply that all people who game or enjoy gaming are the same. In fact, I posed a few questions at the start of the post.

      Is your husband a “gamer”? Does he enjoy playing on his video game console, maybe a little too much? Do you feel as though he devotes too much free time to gaming? Do you feel slightly neglected and irritated with his games? Have you ever had fantasies of throwing his video game console/computer/cellphone/whatever through the window of a moving car traveling over a bridge?

      If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, chances are you belong to “WMGA”

      What I meant by that wasn’t that ALL gaming is bad, what I meant by that was that if you could relate to one or more of these things in addition to your husband “gaming” then perhaps we have some things in common. Now Erin, If your husband is a Gamer and you are alright with how he manages it, then good for you! That’s a great thing!

      The wives who spend hours a day on facebook playing those types of games are also grouped into this post… However, I couldn’t give my perspective on that because I do not have a wife, so I wrote about what I experience.

      I do feel that stating that “our husbands just don’t care” was kind of a low blow that was unnecessary. Thank you very much again for your opinion but I think you misunderstood my post and I was not trying to offend your husband… I’ve never me the gentleman, so please don’t take it so personally.

      • Erin on January 19, 2013 at 7:44 pm

        Oh I didn’t take it personally at all, but I felt the need to stick up for Gamers who don’t fit your stereotype. I view it the same as any other stereotype – based on gender, race, religion, or yes, even hobbies.

        Whether you intended it or not, other people reading this are viewing it as a “Gamers are all bad” post, it’s easy to see this from the reactions –

        “I am sooo happy my husband doesn’t play video games. It would drive me crazy!”
        “I am so grateful that my husband is not a gamer…”
        “I am sooo happy my husband doesn’t play video games…”

        And as for my comment about your husbands not caring… it was an observation. If you (and others who feel the same about their husbands gaming) honestly feel like it takes over and they don’t care about and/or pay attention to outside life (I’m loosely paraphrasing here of course) — then you only have them to blame. It’s not the video games’ fault…it’s their personality.

        To me (and of course this is only my opinion) it’s the same as saying “I hate Facebook. My wife never cleans the house or does laundry, because she uses Facebook.” — no, your wife chooses to not do those things…it’s not Facebook’s fault. It’s her personality.

        …anyways. I’m not mad. I’m just put off by the stereotyping (whether intended or not) and the fact that others who’s husbands don’t even play games are going, “Yeah! Thank GOD mine doesn’t play games EVER…how horrible!!”

        • Ninja Mommers on January 20, 2013 at 2:33 pm

          Hi Erin,

          I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
          I am sorry that you feel as though I am referring to all gaming as being a negative thing in this post. However, if people are grateful their husbands don’t game, I strongly doubt it’s due to me being their only influence.I am sure they have heard many other stories about gaming that has lead them to see it in a negative light. This post was supposed to be a sarcastic take on husbands who game excessively… namely MY husband. It’s a personal account, based on my personal experience and personal opinions. It is not meant to reference all gaming.

          I am NOT blaming the gaming at all. In fact, and I believe the post reflects that. I clearly poke fun at my husband for his ridiculous reasoning to play video games so much.

          I like games. I play once in a while. I suppose I could consider myself “Gamer” but it is also left to interpretation based on what your definition of gamer is. To me, I casually game once in a while, so I wouldn’t think that would make me a “gamer”. As far as I am concerned any reference I have ever heard relating to “gamers” has usually been to describe someone who spends a lot of their time playing games, someone who puts a lot of effort into building their stats in games. To me calling someone that plays games once in a while a “gamer” would be like calling someone that writes one blog post a “Blogger”. But, again, that’s up to interpretation as I don’t believe there is really a set definition for the word “gamer”, seems to me it is a “Slang” term.

          Either way, I refuse to argue about this. This post was supposed to be a light hearted account that people in the same situation as myself could relate to… not a “Gamer bashing” session.

          Thank you for stopping by, and perhaps from now on I will put disclosures on my posts so I avoid offending anyone or giving them the wrong impression. I just figured people would kind of understand my sarcasm.

          Thank You for Reading!

  13. Elizabeth on February 23, 2013 at 12:34 am

    My husband is a nightly and weekend gamer so he spends approximately 20-25 hours a week playing Xbox. I gave up complaining and found other things to do. When my kids graduate from high school in two years, I think I will find activities outside the home and at night and weekends to do. I also work 40 plus hours a week, too.

  14. Ally on February 28, 2013 at 3:29 am

    My name is Ally and I am married to a gamer. I was the girlfriend who thought things would change. We moved in together when we got married and I then realized, he played more than I thought. He plays xbox360 live all the time. Mornings and nights.Sometimes I day dream about selling or destroying his games,, I would never, but its fun to dream!! 🙂

    • Ninja Mommers on March 7, 2013 at 8:34 pm

      Thank you for stopping by. The dreaming is the best part…. Good on you for admitting to thinking things would change. Welcome! 🙂

  15. Lydia on March 4, 2013 at 8:30 am

    Hello, my husband is a gamer also. I used to wear lingerie and do lap dances for my husband and he would push me away and tell me “I’m in the middle of playing!”… 😛

    • Ninja Mommers on March 7, 2013 at 8:31 pm

      Oh no! I can relate, it’s too funny. Now I just go to bed in a parka.. what’s the difference? 😛

    • Mary on March 13, 2018 at 12:49 pm

      Yes!!! Might be TMI, but I have offered to give head while he was gaming and he refused saying it would mess up his concentration…

  16. Dawn on April 30, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    …idk where to even begin. Good thing I had a saying to how his income should be spent , otherwise I can see it mostly invested to his favorites games plus add ons to his other favorite vedio games. Lets see.. His the biggest procastinator! Rarely takes out the trash, cuts the yard and leaves the mower in the yard… Barely holds our daughter , holds her for 5 min and throws her back in her walker, bad hygiene ; don’t showe bc his too occupy. Makes me get him drinks and food when all he did was sit in the couch for 7 hours straight. He vacuums his food so he can play some more… He enever wants to do anything not even to go out and play bowling as I suggested he thinks its boring. He doesn’t do any physical activity. All he does is work and the. Vedio games. It’s like that everyday… It’s sad and pathetic. If I ever get divorce I will never marry again… Bc maybe I will end in the same position. Dating is more fun than marriage

  17. Dawn on April 30, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    And did I mention he never does anything in house!!!! Maybe him and I can trade status!!!!! He can stay home watch our baby and clean the house and while i go to work and when I come home I’d play games all night and never listen to his feeling!!!!! I wonder how he’d like it!!!??? I want to turn the table just for once!

  18. mongupp on August 2, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Sadly, I belong to this club. I used to play games on the commodore 64 when I was a teen but I grew up! Honestly, grown men playing video games really irks me. Did any of our dads play video games? Nuh-uh.

    • Shari on March 12, 2014 at 1:59 am

      I completely agree!now a days they don’t know what to do in their spare time. My feelings are games are what kids do , but now a day companies are making games more for adults. They just can’t stop playing. I am at a point as when will it stop. !!!!

  19. Terri on November 7, 2013 at 5:35 pm

    OK….so I HAVE to comment on this sorry my Jenner’s. I am a “gamer”, a wife, a mother, and a stay at home mom. I also have a autistic son and a anaphylactic daughter. I also take care of a disabled mother in law. I game almost every night. Although lately it has taken a back seat. I muself , believe gaming is a way to release tension, stress, and anger in a healthy way if it is the only way available. Such as I can’t just get up and go so kick boxing, or go to the gym. However, as long as it doesn’t consume you as mentioned I think it is very healthy. As long as it doesn’t destroy relationships. If fact as I am the gamer in the house, when my husband is home on the rare occasion Cuz he’s usually at work till 1 in the morning. We play together, I pick games that we can enjoy together. It gives us something to do together and also relaxes us both. All in moderation!!!!! Yes there are days where I wish I could just shut down and go play games to escape my daily struggles but I don’t as I have a job to do. To me that is healthy. So I say game on just make sure you have time for one another

  20. Penny on December 20, 2013 at 11:59 pm

    Hello to all the wives and girlfriends of gamers.
    Let me first start off by saying that my husband is a great guy who I love dearly, but his gaming has taken a toll on our relationship and my self esteem (whether he cares to admit that or not). I will say it was strange that on our second date, he left me alone to watch tv while he gamed in his gamers chair…his gamers setup is quite elaborate with a full blown reclining chair, headphones, keyboard, and two huge monitors. This has caused problems being that I love to cuddle an have downtime with my husband……his gaming is so personal it became hard to coexist in his gaming life. He does enjoy playing and can spend a whole day doing so, but he also enjoys other things like cars, hunting….and oh yeah, perhaps me. We have been together for five years now, and the gaming fights continue. He wil admit that all I have to do I ask him nicely to stop, or find something else for us to do, but perhaps I am stubborn. I truly want a natural flow to our relationship and time together, not me worrying about whether or not I am stopping him from gaming, or whether I feel bad or guilty for asking him to spend time with me. I will admit, he is a reasonable guy who just appreciates respect….I can’t argue that. And I do enjoy playing a few games with him…but reach my max after an hour or two. He has tried to limit it as much as possible, but who am I to mak him limit something he enjoys? He would never do that to me. After all the fights and tears, gaming has just become a negative trigger for me, and its taken a toll on my self esteem. I am trying to be a good wife and appreciate his game playing, but somehow I feel like we don’t have downtime to relax together. When he gets home, he talks to me for a while, but will eventually end up on the computer, for the rest of the night if I don’t say something. Again, he does not let gaming consume his life, I just think we are imcompatible when it comes to how we view our downtime and priorities. I feel like he is a great man, but I don’t knowif I have the patience to deal with our extreme differences. We have been married for a year with our first child on the way, he will be an awesome dad, I have no doubt about that…..but what happens when the kids go to bed? Will he go game? Will I do my ow thing? We should have our own hobbies and interests, but in general, we don’t know how to relax together without the day to day pressure of his gaming lifestlye.

    • Ninja Mommers on January 6, 2014 at 4:11 am

      Thank you for sharing your story Penny! It’s hard isn’t it? It puts such a strain on not only your relationship, but just the way you feel as a woman!

  21. Psychsarah on February 26, 2014 at 2:12 am

    My name is Sarah. My husband is a gamer. On one level, I don’t mind the games so much-it has advantages over other hobbies; he’s home, it doesn’t cost much, etc. however, as others note, DH will play to the wee hours and he seems to be unable to control himself when he gets excited. Hence, he’ll yell and wake me out of a dead sleep two floors away! I see red when this happens because with two little ones, sleep is elusive and invaluable.

  22. Shari on March 12, 2014 at 1:54 am

    my husband is a gamer too. I have been with him for 17yrs. I was foolish enough to think that he would grow out of his gaming habit…. Lol I figure hey your 30 something things should change. Ya…… And I am so not a gamer. Games in general frustrate me and the thought of spending hours and hours everyday playing a game seems such a waste. I try to be support his gaming habit, but I just get frustrate. All his friends are gamers too.and mine are not.

    • Ninja Mommers on March 12, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Hi Shari,
      Welcome. I hear you totally. It’s hard for sure!

  23. taylor on March 26, 2014 at 3:29 am

    My husband to be is a gamer. We have a two year old so during the day its not so bad but he doesn’t wake up until about 1-2pm BC he is up til 5-6 gaming. Tonight I told him that I was too tired to cook and his response was “sounds delicious pumpkin” lol really? And since the Diablo expansion came out today there’s no chance of any cuddles even at 5….im sure he will be awake when I take our son to preschool in the morning. I belong here lol

    • Ninja Mommers on March 26, 2014 at 1:55 pm

      I do not know if it’s because you said “Diablo Expansion” and I knew what that meant… But I laughed. I mean… I know that an expansion isn’t a separate game… and I TOTALLY know what happens when they come out.

      I feel your pain.

  24. Jesi on August 26, 2014 at 4:14 am

    My husband is a gamer. I feel tricked because when we first started dating, he made it seem as if he didn’t enjoy it much; he wanted to spend all his time with me (eye-roll). Now, six years and two kids later, he’s left me alone at 12AM to go pick up a new release. According to him, if he doesn’t pick it up now, he’ll have to wait until 10AM to get it. Heaven forbid it! Not to mention, I am at home alone with two kids, no car and no way to get some rest for work in the morning. I’m losing it.

    • Ninja Mommers on August 26, 2014 at 2:25 pm

      I make jokes, but it’s entirely serious sometimes.

      I am sorry you are going through this Jesi! I don’t blame you for feeling as though you are losing it. <3

      Thank you for stopping by. I hope things turn around soon and your husband sees what this is doing to you.

  25. loopyloo on February 7, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    I am on the verge of leaving my husband today he could not decide if gaming was more important than his marriage, I could tollerate it if it was 4-5 hour a day but its 18 hours a day and amongst that he watches porn which rilles me more, I feel so alone and so empty I lost my father 2 years ago and my mum 22 years ago I have sibblings, no friends no one I can talk to

    • Ninja Mommers on February 8, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      Hi Loopyloo,

      I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please know that you aren’t alone, you are loved. I promise. Losing parents is very hard. Have you ever though of perhaps going to counselling? If you ever need to chat, please feel free to reach out to me on facebook page and we can message.


      • loopyloo on February 8, 2017 at 3:54 pm

        I have concilling after I lost my mum I had extremely bad nightmares for a long time the same over and over again when my mum and a nurse was trying to hurt my children and me it was horrible I can not control the dreams when they decide to pop up, My dad was poorly with cancer but he had a fall and died of brain hemorage 2 days later, all i need is a supportive partner but the games are his life and I am not a game, I do love him and I would be willing to accept his gaming addiction if he gave me just a few minutes of thought to talk to,

  26. Lisa on April 4, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    My husband is a gamer. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have two young girls, and I feel like the adult games are inappropriate for young children to watch all the time on the living room tv. And if he is not on the tv, he is on his phone playing something else. I am completely annoyed just by looking at him play! I work later than he does, so when I get home he is always on the game while the girls tare down the house. He says it is his “release ” for a hard day, but he plays on his day off. He is a good husband when he isn’t playing, or when I have given him a list of things that need to be done (by today) but I feel like I married a teenager and It is so frustrating! Does anyone else feel like they gained a son instead of a man around the house??

    • Ninja Mommers on August 31, 2017 at 1:05 pm

      That is a serious strain on any relationship! I mean you are supposed to have a partner not another child. I have felt like that on many occasions as well. I do agree that the games really aren’t good for the young children to see! I get the phone thing too! My husband has done the same.

  27. Mrs. K on June 3, 2017 at 6:11 pm

    It feels refreshing to have found other people who are going through similar things and some with the same things! My husband and I have been together five years, of that seven months we have been married. I knew he was a gamer and all throughout dating it never bothered me. After thinking over why it didn’t bother me much then, I remembered that when we were dating we would do things together. We would be somewhat spontaneous, road trips, going out together..
    The past couple years has been pretty much nothing when it comes to spending time together. He gets home from work, we say hello and eat together sometimes..then it’s right to video games if he hasn’t already started. Then the next time it’s just us with no distractions is when we’re climbing into bed where he’s sure to fall asleep fast.
    Our ‘dates’ have morphed into grocery shopping. Our spontaneous trips have turned more into a spontaneous trip out to dinner after grocery shopping.
    When the weekends or days off come along he’s able to stay up late like 2-3 in the morning late if not later. Maybe I’ll get lucky and we will watch something together or even if we have sex, after it’s done he’ll say he’s going to stay up a bit longer *insert gigantic eye roll*….. I fall asleep alone 80% of the time on weekends and starting to be durning the week as well.
    I’m glad I found this blog/support group here…my mom wouldn’t understand if I talked to her about it and my friends don’t live it either.
    I don’t even know where to start with talking about all of this. I have so much frustration, sadness, and loneliness from this..
    Reading what other people are going through helps me not to feel alone through this.
    Does anyone have any ideas on how to talk to my husband about this to where it sticks in his brain?

    • Ninja Mommers on August 31, 2017 at 12:49 pm

      Hi Mrs. K!

      Welcome and sorry for the delay in my response. First I am sorry that you are feeling this way, it is really hard to navigate this kind of stuff. It sounds to me as though you have settled into married life and are just going through the motions. It is natural sometimes that the spontaneity dwindles and the exciting trips turn into completing chores.

      Have you tried talking to your husband about this? What happens when you express to him your feelings about Video games?

      Have you tried to initiate something spontaneous?

      -Jen (Ninjamommers)

  28. Mrs R on June 5, 2017 at 2:42 am

    “Well would you rather me go out and drink ” anyone else heard that one ?
    I love my husband but it’s hard to feel like second place all the time. In this day I don’t know if I need to learn how to deal with it better or if I and we should maybe stop feeling bad for putting our foot down and make them stop. What is normal now !?! If it’s not on a consol it’s on the phone it’s a never ending supply of games it’s an addiction just as much as alcohol and gambling should we really just deal and put up with it ?

    • Mrs.K on June 12, 2017 at 11:16 pm

      The feeling of being second place to your husband is all too real 🙁
      I agree with you, it is an addiction! I ask myself the same questions….what’s normal….do I put my foot down….what will happen if I do put my foot down…it’s not causing any physical harm maybe I should just let it be…?

      Maybe going to a counseling session once a month could help? It would be a starting point?

      • Ninja Mommers on August 31, 2017 at 1:03 pm

        My Husband always said: “Well, at least I am here and not out” so yes, I have heard that one before. I am not sure that we should just deal and put up with it. Quite frankly if it were something more “mainstream addict like” (such as gambling) you would want them to get help. What resources are there though, for those going through a gaming addiction? That I am unsure of. I think that maybe a session once in a while with a consellor will help a bit. There is no reason for either of you to feel second rate!

  29. LV on June 19, 2017 at 10:33 pm

    I am totally in this club. My husband has gotten worse. He got layed off from his job 2 months ago and instead of actively looking for a job he is on the games. I work and when I come home my girls (7, and 2) tell me he has played all day, stopping only to feed them. And when I saw what he was playing it angered me even more. In The game he was a man walking around shooting people and the graphics on these games are so realistic! I don’t want my children watching that! There is already so much violence in the world today that they will see. I don’t want them thinking this is normal, and violence is the answer to all our problems. HELP! I am really thinking about leaving a good man because of these games. Anyone has any idea how to deal with this please give your insight

    • Ninja Mommers on August 31, 2017 at 1:00 pm

      Hi LV,

      I am going to assume that you have tried to talk to him about this problem before. How does he usually respond? I really agree that I don’t think those games are at all appropriate for Children to see. It would also make me quite angry that he isn’t making the household a priority while he’s at home.

      I really hope that you can work through this, since you refer to him as a “good man” clearly he really is a great guy aside from the video game issues.

      Jen (ninjamommers)

  30. Engagedwithagamer on September 16, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    Hey I’m not married yet but I am engaged and I’ve been with him long enough to understand most of these questions and statements, honestly I love him to death and I adore him but it honestly feels like it getting out of hand and I don’t know what to do about this

  31. Mary on March 13, 2018 at 12:43 pm

    This hit close to home. All I was doing was nodding to everything you said. It’s been a huge point of contention within my relationship. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years (married for 2 years). While I was pregnant, I grabbed his Xbox to smash it on the ground but he ended up catching it. Now, I game with him from time to time, but he wants it ALL the time. We are still working on what works for us because I do feel neglected and unloved from time to time. I want my husband to have a hobby, but I want to spend quality time with him too. When we do spend time together, he falls asleep because he’s “bored” from watching tv (but I think it is because he stays up till 2-5 am playing games). He’s a wonderful father, but I need more. He will interact with our son, but the moment our son goes to bed, it’s gaming time. I love this man so much, but divorce has been tossed around. I’m just glad that I’m not the only one. Us women, I swear to God, are some strong women to deal with this.

  32. beatrizochoa28 on April 1, 2018 at 3:51 pm

    Hello, My name is Beatriz my husband is a gamer
    Im glad to see that I am not alone in all this. Although gaming is a way to unwind and relax it seems that gaming is ruining my marriage. I can be allright with his gaming but he wakes up to game and at times he will play all day from 7a.m. to 2 a.m its a little crazy. I just want to feel like im not over reacting that im not just a nagging wife.

  33. Lin on August 19, 2020 at 10:56 pm

    My name is Lin and my husband is a gamer. I’ve often said that his games are his mistress he puts his games before me and our kids. Even going so far as to leave the kids unsupervised while I am at work. I’ve left him twice because of this but I love him and keep coming back. I feel like I’m loosing myself and I am so resentful about all of this

  34. Kyla on October 18, 2021 at 5:48 pm

    So my soon to be husband is a gamer and while I game with him sometimes… I know that I’ll never take the place of those games… ugh…

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