Knowing that people are judging you is common knowledge when you are a Mother. The lady at the check out line in the grocery store that is eyeing your every parenting move, the man at the local familyÂ restaurantÂ that is watching how you will react to the temper tantrum that your little one has decided to throw… It’s everywhere.
Be honest, you have done it too- you have been that lady at the grocery store, or that Man at the restaurant silently grading someone else’s parenting choices. I know I have. It’s only natural to watch one Mother parent and then compare your parenting methodologies with that of the woman giving in and letting her screaming child have a lollipop just to shut them up long enough to get some groceries done. “Oh, I would never do that”, “I would let the kid scream”, “I would take the kid outside and give them a warning”, “We would be going straight home and he would be going to bed, I would do my shopping later…”
But no one is perfect. I know I am not. I have done my fair share of “bad” parenting, like letting Little Man watch too much TV so I can get some work done, or feeding him Apples, Crackers and Cheese for lunch when we are on the go, or giving in a little too much to what he wants… But let’s be honest… Anyone that TRULY knows my child, KNOWS that I put my best foot forward in my parenting as much as possible and although there may be lax days My Little Man knows what’s acceptable and what’s not and he has the BIGGEST heart. He is loving, caring and has a fantastic temperament.
So while it is annoying knowing that you are being silently graded by the woman at the grocery store, I take comfort in knowing that she has no idea who my son is and I will never see her again anyways. The thing that is disheartening is being judged by people who SHOULD know my Little Man, Who SHOULD know that my parenting choices have not had any gut wrenchingly horrible side effects, who SHOULD know that I always do what I think is best for him and would never do anything that I think is going to be detrimental to him or his development in the long term… What’s worse is having these things they don’t agree with discussed with someone that has no contact with me or my children, who has no idea who we are at all… But worst of all is when it’s all about something as small as a music choice that I allow my son to listen to… a music choice that has had no effect on him… a music choice that HE enjoys and picked out himself… and STILL Remains a loving, beautiful Little Man that is so gentle and loving to everyone around him… including his new Sister. Everyone that actually knows him, knows that he is a fantastic Little Man.. so everyone else’s commentary is irrelevant because as far as I am concerned if you are worried about something so small then you have NO IDEA who my child is… and that gives you no right to judge anything.
I think it’s funny because a a lot of the time people judge because they are uncomfortable with themselves, they are think that they are inadequate as Parents and try to find fault in the tiny things that they see another parent do. Unfortunately judgement is not something you can stop, people are going to do it. You just have to be confident that you are making the right choices for your children, that you love you kids and would never do anything to hurt them or cause them any problems in the future. As long as you are confident that the things you are choosing to do are not hurting your children in any way, then DO NOT worry about what anyone else says. Do NOT worry who is judging you… just continue on parenting the way you feel fit… after all they are your kids.
I can tell you one thing…. This Ninja Mommers tries her best, and I think I do a pretty damn good job… Just sayin!